you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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