i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
