Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
