i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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