Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My pussy is not your playground.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
