Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think your dad took our porno
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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