They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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