If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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