Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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