The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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