Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize