He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
