I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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