is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize