the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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