People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
