You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
