I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
