i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
