What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize