she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize