i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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