I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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