You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
