I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
