my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize