We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
