Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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