Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
