Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I party with great urgency now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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