Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
