you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
