WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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