I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a beard to bite.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
