He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
