Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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