umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
