WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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