I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
