tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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