Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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