if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
