best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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