My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
