You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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