69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
