White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do herpes really smell.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
