so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
