Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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