A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
