walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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