I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
