Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
