Me. At least after what I've been through.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize