i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
