Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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