eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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