I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
