i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
