I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize