help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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