The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize