My hair reeks of homosexuality.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
