we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
