I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
