whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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