This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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