Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize