Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
