that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
